Day 6
Isn't there a quote that goes something like "love has a many splendid wonders..." Anyhow, the power of love definitely sounds cheesy (and as cheesy as it sounds - i know), i'm going to have to say its true. One week ago, I was doing what i've always been doing... working on something to get to somewhere without really asking if what i was doing was worth the moment. It was until the fear that i had lost my gf forever that (to put it crudely) i really had my ass lit on fire. When she had left for France, that night I really thought she had left for good. In the past, when i face failure (career or something of a similar sort), things just felt bad... a horrible discomfort that eats away at you. It eats away at you because that kind of failure is just bad enough to put you down but not so bad that it kills you. But the realization that my gf may be gone, NOW that was beyond bad... that wasn't the kind of feeling of that "eats away at you", it just eats you up and totally destroys you emotionally. But strangely, because that feeling was so bad, it made everything else easy. When I face career setbacks, it hard to get back up, it really is because of the fear of another failure. It's almost as if, well i'm doing pretty good now (not great, but definitely not bad), do i want to pick it up another gear and fail? I guess if i can deal w/ feeling unhappy (and have it eat away at me slowly), that's better than trying something new and failing... WIth my gf leaving, it was a different story. Basically, I felt that I couldn't live without her and because that was a certainty in my mind, everything else was easy - especially FAILURE. I could quit my job, move to France for 3 months, bring her breakfast (fresh french bakery) every morning, run to shapen myself up, read, do whatever it takes to be a better bf and better person even if i felt i didn't have more than a 1% chance of getting her back. When you want something so badly, and when everything focuses on that one goal, then things like failure, hard work, all of those things just seem so peripheral. I can afford to fail because failing in that sense is better than not going to try to get her back. This is where the power of love comes in. If anything, i'm more inspired now by my gf than i've ever been. I want to take what she's taught me about love and life and apply it to better a generally more happy, spirited and proactive person. So what have i done, well, i walked in today and told my boss that i'm leaving. I'm leaving one of the best jobs in the market for my given field at one of the hottest companies to go take a 50% pay cut and join a soon to be three man company. Why? Because that's what i've always wanted to do and my gf just taught me that you can only bring out the best in you if you go for what really matters to you. So there it is, it isn't the $, the security, or even the prestige, it's all for taking the chance to do something that i would consider amazing and that i can be proud of myself for doing. And if it fails, big deal, I will still have what's most important (I hope), my gf. That's the power of love.